I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize