hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
