he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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