You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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