That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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