I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
