Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize