1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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