When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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