Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize