Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
