I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
