Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
