4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
