just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
