I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
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