I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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