I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
His nipple licking is glorious
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