i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
