I am puke
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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