Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
