dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
