i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
