Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
