She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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