Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't deserve a penis
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
