I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
