i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
