Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
