Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Im part way to drunk.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
