Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
