I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
