He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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