ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
