I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
