You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
