I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
