Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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