Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
