I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
