and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize