Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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