where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
