I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I want to be your penis for a week.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
