I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
