Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
