no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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