No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
