Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I am mentally ready for anal.
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