As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
