Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
