My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
