I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
