If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
