well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
