What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
