Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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