i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
