I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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