im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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