Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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