im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Panties = found
Randomize
