Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
