I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
