Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
