fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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