Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
