omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
