I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
