I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
A bitchslap is in order.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize