yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
