every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
