Can Purell be used as lube?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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