I just made out with a guy for $7.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize