CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
