brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
