Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
