i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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