shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
