she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize