She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Congratulations! We have a period
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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