Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
