Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
