Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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