The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize