I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
